I originally started this post as a tribute to T-4 because the differences that I saw in her between the beginning of November and the middle of February were so pronounced. At this point, we are also seeing remarkable growth in T-6. So girls, this one is for you. (I am back-dating this, since it is now out of context as I finish writing the post!)

T-4 had a major regression because of the trauma of moving into our home. She acted more like a wild animal than a person when she moved in. Imagine, a 2-year-old in a 4 year-old body. She was completely potty trained, but in the first week was peeing on the floor and having accidents multiple times during each day. She could no longer drink from a cup without spilling or knocking it over. She was generally compliant, but when faced with anything challenging, including simple contact with her sister, she would basically fall over and start crying. She hardly spoke and when she did speak it was in a baby voice and she was very difficult to understand. She had some happy times, mostly being swung around and dancing.

When we had visits from social workers, she would become scared and introverted. She saw a sedan that looked like a county car and pointed and said that was a “bad car”.  Our social worker had asked us to post their rights somewhere in their room. She pointed and screamed when she saw it.  Night time is especially hard for her, she hates going to sleep. She goes along with the bedtime routine until the end, then she fights it. When she first moved in, she would scream, bite and kick at bedtime.  The only way that we found to get her to go to sleep was to hold her (while she was kicking and pushing, but not really trying to get away) and rock her while singing.

We finally got her started in a 1/2 day preschool. Immediately, we began to see improvement. It was a therapeutic nursery school for kids that have special needs and she became one of the higher functioning kids at the school.

There are certainly were still behavioral problems. She continued to have a lot of tantrums at home (about 3 a day lasting between 20 and 40 minutes, although we have been able to eliminate some of them.  As soon as T-6 starts behaving better, T-4 starts dropping off. We recently started a rewards chart, and it is amazing to see their good performances switch over!  She also does normal younger sibling stuff, intentionally annoying or  hitting her sister.

When we walked into her preschool, we would see other kids tantruming. We’d see that T-4 had surpassed their language abilities.  We also got tired of the fact that T-4 was eating institutional food with a lot of refined sugar. What a thing to be feeding kids with emotional problems, apple jacks and sugary muffins.  Combined with the fact that we just needed more time without kids home, we put T-4 in a pricey, but excellent preschool.  Again, we saw worlds of improvement in T-4.  We often joke that she is surpassing T-6 and in some ways, she is.  She is certainly able to reflect on her feelings and own behaviors much better.

For a time, we also saw T-6 begin to progress. We set up a reward system at school so that she was able to not be so fidgety and disruptive in class.  We put her in an after school program, which she loved and she often came home sweet, happy and confident instead of her usual argumentative, bossy and annoying self.

We even had one day, where we were all sitting around the table after the girls got home from school. We were all talking and laughing. The girls were being sweet and loving.  All of these have occasionally given me a glimpse into the joys of being a mom.