Judgement and Breakdown | Gardens of Resistance http://gardensofresistance.com/archives/92 Fun and games and living life with radical politics. Tue, 15 Nov 2011 01:09:32 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 Judgement and Breakdown | Gardens of Resistance http://gardensofresistance.com/archives/92/comment-page-1#comment-34 admin Tue, 03 Feb 2009 11:46:15 +0000 http://gardensofresistance.com/archives/92#comment-34 Hi Logan, Thanks for your comment. I am sorry that I haven't posted an update recently, I started one, but wasn't able to complete it. I am trying to get back to a regular writing schedule and hope that I can start posting at least weekly again soon. We did not disrupt the placement. There was a month long period of time that I really felt like I had dug myself a hole that I couldn't get out of, though. Winter break was awful, we were just not prepared and honestly, I am not sure what could have prepared us. Holidays are hard, especially to be integrating into a new family AND to be new parents with two kids out of school. Disclosure was definitely a problem, but a problem that might be easily overlooked is that we weren't really coached through the process of what we can handle by people that understand what behavioral problems are like. Additionally, our we didn't feel like we had a good understanding of development (apparently 6 is just a difficult age, anyways) or the normalcy of behavioral and attachment problems after so many moves. I definitely DON'T think that this always happens. On the other hand, with an older child with many placements (our girls have been in between 8 and 10), it is very common. I am happy to chat, I think I got an email for you, so I will send you my info that way. Hi Logan,

Thanks for your comment. I am sorry that I haven’t posted an update recently, I started one, but wasn’t able to complete it. I am trying to get back to a regular writing schedule and hope that I can start posting at least weekly again soon.

We did not disrupt the placement. There was a month long period of time that I really felt like I had dug myself a hole that I couldn’t get out of, though. Winter break was awful, we were just not prepared and honestly, I am not sure what could have prepared us. Holidays are hard, especially to be integrating into a new family AND to be new parents with two kids out of school.

Disclosure was definitely a problem, but a problem that might be easily overlooked is that we weren’t really coached through the process of what we can handle by people that understand what behavioral problems are like. Additionally, our we didn’t feel like we had a good understanding of development (apparently 6 is just a difficult age, anyways) or the normalcy of behavioral and attachment problems after so many moves.

I definitely DON’T think that this always happens. On the other hand, with an older child with many placements (our girls have been in between 8 and 10), it is very common. I am happy to chat, I think I got an email for you, so I will send you my info that way.

]]> Judgement and Breakdown | Gardens of Resistance http://gardensofresistance.com/archives/92/comment-page-1#comment-33 WeaponX Tue, 03 Feb 2009 09:38:18 +0000 http://gardensofresistance.com/archives/92#comment-33 I hope you still check this, and more so, I hope you'd be willing to talk. Have things changed for you? Did you decide to disrupt the adoption? Do you think that this is what always happens? You are the second person I have heard of with a similar story, the disclosures not truly disclosing the reality of the situation. My wife and I are at the beginning of the adoption process, and while I'd love to take an older child, we are too scared of what will happen. I'd love to talk to you further if you are wiling to talk. ~Logan I hope you still check this, and more so, I hope you’d be willing to talk.
Have things changed for you? Did you decide to disrupt the adoption? Do you think that this is what always happens? You are the second person I have heard of with a similar story, the disclosures not truly disclosing the reality of the situation. My wife and I are at the beginning of the adoption process, and while I’d love to take an older child, we are too scared of what will happen.

I’d love to talk to you further if you are wiling to talk.
~Logan

]]> Judgement and Breakdown | Gardens of Resistance http://gardensofresistance.com/archives/92/comment-page-1#comment-32 zombie mom Tue, 16 Dec 2008 00:21:57 +0000 http://gardensofresistance.com/archives/92#comment-32 Wow, sorry its so hard and it sounds really, really hard. I am also sorry some random guy felt like it was OK to judge you when you were doing your best for your kids. I hope that you get the resources needed - its frustrating to me that they are not more readily available and that you were not offered the support needed for a successful transition with the girls settling into your home. How is T4 doing? Again, sorry to hear how hard thing have been. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. I think our colds are winding down.. Wow, sorry its so hard and it sounds really, really hard. I am also sorry some random guy felt like it was OK to judge you when you were doing your best for your kids.

I hope that you get the resources needed – its frustrating to me that they are not more readily available and that you were not offered the support needed for a successful transition with the girls settling into your home.

How is T4 doing?

Again, sorry to hear how hard thing have been. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. I think our colds are winding down..

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