My Ass. Some guys think it is fat, some guys think it is phat. Black boys like to stare at it and talk about it. White boys don’t. Regardless, men almost always seem to have an opinion about it. They either love it or they hate it.

Some people use it to judge how fit I am. I’ve been told that big butts make for better cyclists. I’ve also been told that I’m “getting thick and better keep peddling that bike”.

I am both revered and humiliated because of my ass.

Some guys use it as a way to start conversation or ask me out. Some guys use it to say something sexual to me. Others find me unattractive because of it.

I went out with a girl who was totally straight, no curves in her body, that is, no waist. We each thought the other had a body to be jealous of. I associated her body with being thin. She associated my body with being sexy.

Where am I with my ass? Not at peace. I associate my big butt with all of the expectations of women that comes in our society that I am only ready to reject. How can I keep my butt bundled in so much baggage?

My butt has been the primary gauge of my sexualization and my aging.

I have “baby-making” hips. Thanks Dad! What a curse for a girl who never wanted babies. But maybe that is why I never wanted babies.