I recently watched the PBS documentary on Jim Jones and the mass suicide in Jonestown. It is almost incomprehensible how many people died there and the destruction of many families that occurred. It is hard to imagine being in a group that harnesses so many hopes and dreams and ends up paranoid and desperate.

Learning more about the People’s Temple piqued my interest in revisiting a group that I used to belong to that had a reputation as a cult and was targeted by the Cult Awareness Network. The leader of this buddhism-based meditation group was Dr. Frederick Lenz, aka Rama. I did some web searching and found Take Me For a Ride.

I was never deeply into this group, like the author. The most intense manipulations concerns only people in the “inner circle” would experience (or at least people much more involved than I). I only even was in the same room with Rama 2-3 times. My meditation group did listen to his music, talk about his philosophies and some people altered their lifestyles based on his ideas.

Although my involvement was only peripheral and some years later, the descriptions were all familiar. I was surprised at how little things had changed. All that he said was completely consistent (although it extended beyond) my experience.

I hadn’t only vaguely understood why there was so much concern about this group and Rama. I was certainly skeptical of Rama’s claims to enlightenment, but I saw young people around me improving their lives and reading wonderful texts. I learned so much about Buddhism and meditation that it was easy for me to take the positives.

I actually learned about the fact that it was considered a cult from within the group itself. I learned about it’s cultness by the defenses…we WERE free to go…we DID get more from Rama that we gave. I wonder now if this was part of the “honeymoon” period, that they were careful about when to bring the “big guns” out.

Towards the end of my involvement, there was more of a push-comes-to-shove feeling. Rama asked for applications from people like me and ultimately asked for people to move to NYC (I do know some people that did). Since I was never very committed to the group or Rama and was mainly committed to the learning process of Buddhism, this process happened around me. I had a lot going on besides the group and the slightest pressure turned me off.

I was grateful to find this book. It was great to have an insider’s perspective to give some context to my experience. It is really well written, I couldn’t put it down. I think it was partly fascinating because it had touched my life, but t is also just a generally intersting story and a great little thread of modern history.

The author approaches his story from a great balance of historical/autobiographical and emotional perspectives. He did a great job of being honest and vulnerable and managing to hold compassion for everyone involved. He has a wise, but unintimidating voice and isn’t afraid to leave things without answers as questions.

Ultimately, Rama drown after a drug overdose. There are claims that it was part of a suicide pact. The book was written before Rama’s death, but to me seemed to hold his death. To me, Rama seemed to only be a shadow in the end. Maybe it is because I know that Rama had died. Maybe the author was spot on with recognizing Rama’s downward spiral from sanity, which seemed to inevitably end in tragedy. Maybe the author had to kill him metaphorically in order to move on.