J- and I aren’t good with limbo. We are in a  holding pattern right now while we wait for phone calls that will allow us to be parents.  We’ve got a bassinet, crib and clothes. We even have the carseat in the car. We are as ready as we are going to be.

It started with the first phone call.  We hadn’t fully thought through what to do when it came. We were reacting to our last experience where we felt so prepared and confident and thought we had everything planned out and ultimately all o fthat preparation didn’t make much of a difference.  This time, we’d take things as they came. We would invest and plan less.

We have also talked about the possibility that we will “just” be foster parents for some time.  We will try not to be attached to permanency and adoption. We will go with the flow.

We assumed that we would be able to talk about it.   I was giving a massage the first time the phone rang, so J- asked if he could call them back. By the time I got out of my session, they had found another home for this 3-week old baby.  There was very little information about the kids situation, but if we had a chance to talk about it, it would have probably been a “yes”.  It is hard to imagine turning away a 3-week old baby for any reason.

So after that call, I realized the panic that I would experience if we got another one of those phone calls and we didn’t have a crib or diapers or a single bottle.  We got furniture from craigslist and went down the baby aisle of Target and got one of everything.

Since then, we have received 3 more calls. They have all been between 9 and 11 am and they have all been about children under 2 years of age.  3 of them have been for children needing immediate, emergency placement.  They haven’t worked out for a number of reasons, primarily because we took week-long vacation right after we became certified.

We are looking forward to more calls and are ready to say “yes,” even if it is just to get this process rolling.