We got a call from our licensing social worker on Thursday.  She said that she was entering our information in their database of certified foster parents.  It takes 24 hours for our names to show up to placement workers, but we could get a call for placement as soon as Friday. Of course, every time that the phone rings, I have a bit of excitement. Of course, it could be a few months before we get a call and it could be a very long time before we get a call with the right child.

The other important thing that she said was that we are responsible for screening the call.  We are responsible for deciding whether the kid is the right kid for us. It is nice that this is so out in the open and obvious this time. Other than the number and age of children that we could take, we gave little other information to the county about our criteria.  On the other hand, the last time that we went through this it was our impression that the social worker’s would have some role in ensuring a good match.  I was never really able to recover from the frustration and disappointment with our agency when this did not happen.

So, we are currently lining up resources of people that we can talk to in an emergency about the situation.  Our therapist, our good friend the social worker, our friends who are also fost-adopt parents.  I do feel certain of my criteria, but I don’t feel very certain of my ability to determine whether that child meets my criteria or whether I can say no if it is not certain.

Then, I think of how much more experience that we know have in our understanding of a child’s history and behavior and attachment.  I also remember that this time around my mantra is all about staying calm, no matter what.  So the next time the phone rings, I will take a deep breath…and say “Hello…”