A few years ago, I was fed up with the guilt that I felt every time I turned down an invitation, missed a political event, a concert or a party.  But, I new that I wanted to invite focus and simplicity in my life.  I decided that I would rule out anything that fit into the arbitrary category of “big”.

Big includes just about anything that involves a crowd, crossing bridges or nights later than 11pm.  Writing that makes me feel old and boring, but I actually think I am just discovering my comfort levels and where I find satisfaction. I can have fun at big events, but many times I do not.  Many times, I spend the time hopping from one person to another that I haven’t seen in a long time and don’t really get the depth of contact that I really enjoy.  It is also pretty likely that if I go to a big event that I will get a cold or flu after or at least need a day of recovery from exhaustion.

Another category that I have struggled with is “new”.  I have also been increasingly feeling like I want more time for the the things that I am already doing rather than inviting new projects all the time.  I do crave new things, but I have begun learning to contain them. I now try to start new things as a short-term project with a specific scope and completion time or projects with built in limits.

So, focusing on work, self-care, music, home and friends has been the order of the day. Especially as it is winter and I am preparing to be a mom again.  Keeping it simple is actually all I can handle.

I have also been working on being under-committed rather than over-committed. I remember my friend Chance being available to help me out on a moment’s notice and that being such a relief so many times.  He said that he was available to help because he actually really didn’t do anything himself, but being available for others IS doing something. I am grateful that I have the stability and availability to be Chance for others.

I put off making any Thanksgiving plans, partly because I just couldn’t decide what I wanted to do.  We had plans with our friend Al- the next day.My family seemed coll with skipping it, but I was invited to my good friends who lives a little over an hour North.  J-and I have been really burnt out and I wasn’t sure about the driving.

Turns out that Al- went into the hospital with sepsis.  She was really scared and I got really scared .  All I really wanted to do is hang out with her and luckily, she needed me to.  So, I got to spend part of Thursday and Friday with her at the hospital and I was so happy to just to chill and have her know that I was in the same room (she slept most of Thursday).  Her partner made an awesome dinner, I helped her eat and then took the rest home to share with J-.

Instead of stressing out on the road and stuffing myself sick, I spent a sweet time with someone that I love and haven’t gotten to see too much lately.  I did miss my other loved ones, but I know I will see them very soon.