I am really into intimacy.  I have plenty of friends that I have casual friends with that I see around, but my close friends are people that I can say anything to. And they can say anything to me.  And we do. I love to be up in people’s business and well, they don’t really have to be up in mine because it is usually spread out on the table.

I was shocked to hear a friend say that her best friend was keeping a secret from her husband for 12 years.  I asked, “Was she keeping it from you, too?” She said, “Well, it’s not all that relevant for our relationship.” I simply couldn’t imagine any of my best friends keeping secrets from me, let alone from their partners.

This often carries over with my clients.  Sometimes I see myself as sort of a bartender, where people can bring their troubles to me, if it feels right. It makes sense since there is such a connection with physical holding and stress/emotions and with massage and emotional release.  J- thinks I should start an advice column, actually.  I think that would be the greatest job (next to being a forest ranger).

So, usually this goes okay for me and I am able to be empathetic, non-judgmental and supportive without stressing myself out or taking it on.  Well, just the right issues came together this week to totally trigger me and it took me about 24 hours to figure out why I was getting so wrapped up in them. Two of my friends are both dealing with the loss of children in very different ways.  I felt so drawn to supporting them and felt their grief as if it were my own.  I saw each one of them on two days in a row and I could really think of nothing else for those two days.

Meanwhile, I am spiraling through PMS and wanting to cry at everything from seeing my dogs play to a cheezy movie.  Luckily, it was my day off and I was able to just take some time to myself, walking with my dogs and such.  As soon as I walked into my acupuncturists office and sat down, I realized that this was all triggering the sadness of my own loss of the girls.  I had actually made that connection with each of the situations separately, but for some reason, recognizing the common thread between the two situations had a huge impact. To spell it out: definitely time to get back into therapy for me.