When we disrupted our adoption with the girls, we set it as a goal to support other parents and hang out with kids as much as possible.  We understand how valuable it is to give parents a break from their kids and we seek to better understand child development and “normal” child behavior at different ages.

Conveniently, we have memberships to the Oakland Zoo and the Lawrence Hall of Science until the end of the year and we want to continue using them. So far, we have made a trip to the Lawrence Hall of Science and ice cream with our neighbor, L-4 and a trip to the Oakland Zoo and lunch with our friend’s kids, T-8 and C-11. We also have plans pending with a number of other kid-friends, with and without adults.

Both were really positive experiences.  It is a real relief to have it be easy to be around kids. I do realize that they are always better behaved when not with their parents.  Still, it has restored my faith that all children should not star in the controversial “Orphan”.

There were moments where I expected the worst.  I know L-4 pretty well and had actually been to the Hall of Science with her before.  Still, out of habit, when it was time to move from one exhibit to another, I cringed…I was waiting for an argument or to have to run after L-4. By the end of the day, we simply enjoyed ourselves.  Although quirky, L-4 is super bright and expressive and pretty fun to be around.  Somehow, she managed to get ice cream on her face, her belly, her butt and every appendage.

With T-8 and C-11, I didn’t fully relax. T-8 is a really chatty kid and it was a lot of work to listen and also figure out how to keep it interesting and engaging for myself.  When we went on the skyride at the zoo I, again, expected the worst.  I was afraid T-8 was going to freak out and get scared and J- was going to be stuck with him, terrified, 100 feet above ground. Of course, nothing like this happened. They were both completely capable of understanding their own limits and we had a great time.

I could see each of the kids drinking up the individual adult attention.  Although it was a bit awkward since we were getting to know them all in a new way (we hadn’t ever spent time alone with them), there was a sweet openness and curiousity that doesn’t happen easily with other adults.  The intense one-on-one  connection made me aware of how hard it is was to be fully present with my own kids because of daily demands and the crisis that we were going through.  But, what special time it is for them!