My friend K- has been doing some intensive Nonviolent Communication (NVC) work and invited me to this workshop. Not knowing anything about NVC, but knowing that I need all the tools that I can get to improve my parenting skills, I decided to go for it. The workshop consisted mostly of introducing participants to the concept of NVC, discussing the benefits of using it for a parent and then applying NVC concepts to parenting situations that we have had.
From the class handout:
Assumptions Underlying th Practice of Nonviolent Communication
1. Human Needs are universal.
2. Feelings point to need being met or unmet.
3. All actions are attempts to meet needs.
4. All human beings have the cpacity for compassion.
5. Giving is joyful when it comes from choice and connection.
6. Connection arises from mutual understanding of the needs behind behavior.
7. There is enough for all to meet our basic needs.
8. Moving away from “right/wrong” judgments supports us in making peace.
So, it seemed that this workshop was as much about looking at yourself and your own motivations as it was communication. Actually, the woman doing the class described NVC as a spiritual practice, since she is constantly revising her sense of self based on what she learns from applying the principals. Don’t get me wrong, unless one lives in a bubble, this has huge ramifications for communication, since this is the way that we usually try to get our needs met.
The teacher used the acronym OFNR to describe the NVC process that determines the appropriate communication: Oberservation, Feelings, Needs and Request.
They emphasized that we often consider something a need that is actually a strategy. For example a strategy is to ask for quiet or to follow directions to get to the car, when the needs may actually be rest or food. Getting in touch with the actual need can help lead to clearer and better communication.
The teacher said a few things about NVC with regards to parenting that really stuck out for me. One was that she sees the modeling of her own communication rubbing off on her 6 and 9 year old boys, who are able to identify and articulate their own needs in their decision making. She mentioned stretching herself sometimes, when she knows that she does not want to offer what her sons are asking for, she tells them, “This is not what I want, but I am going to stretch myself and say yes.” And in return, they sometimes stretch themselves, as well.
Finally, she offered that NVC has taught her compassion for herself. Although it seems that the system might open up a can of worms as far as things to go wrong, she emphasized that it is really hard and a constant process. Our mistakes, and understanding them in more depth is what helps us grow into better people. We want to model for this children and teach them to accept themselves and their own learning process.
I left this class really impressed by these ideas and wondering whether it would have helped in our situation with T-7. I do not think that we know the answer to that question, since it may depend on her diagnosis. But, I do think that it can help with our future lives as parents and our interactions with each other.
buy xanax without perscription Buy Cheap Drugs Xanax Lortab cheap alprazolam order now no prescription
ambien fedex Cheap Generic Overseas Ativan discount generic xanax
buy brand name xanax Zolpidem Buy Cheapest xanax pills super cheap valium 510.
ativan lorazepam buy cheap ativan online Lorazepam Cheap Lorazepam on line fedex ativan by fedex 377.
ambien cr buy fed ex delivery Buy Xanax C buy alprazolam from mexico
cheap generic overseas ativan Ambien Online Pharmacy Buy Ambien cheap ambien without prescription?
buy diazepam saturday delivery Phone Order Ambien Cod Oklahoma buy valium madre natura
Ativan for sale lorazepam sale 614. Legally Buy Valium On Line cheap diazepam
xanax generic price Cheap Ativan Buy Pharmacy Online Now order ambien from canada
cheapest xanax no prescription Buy Injectable Valium xanax peach pill!
valium cheap? Price Of Xanax all about buy xanax!
buying xanax without presciption Buy Xanax South Africa ambien blue pill
xanax compare prices Cheapest Alprazolam Usa prices for sleep aid ambien
valium online order Buy Xanax Mastercard Fedex buy xanax from india no rx?
buy cheap ambien Generic Valium Online pharmacies that send xanax by fedex!
order xanax online! Buy Line Valium Umaxppc lorazepam depresses hiccups,
buy ativan from discount store? Where To Purchase Ambien Cr cheap ativan online discount pharmacy
buy xanax by electronic check Xanax At Cheapest Rates ativan for panic disorder
“buy ativan 2.5 mg from india” Alprazolam Is Generic For “online sales valium”
buy ambien online without rx? Valium Buy buy alprazolam online
cheap ativan buy pharmacy online now Cheap Valium Generic cheapest alprazolam!
buy valium phillipines Ativan On Line Fedex Buy alprazolam buy xanax without prescription 227.
buy valium us pharmacy Hiccups From Diazepam buy non genaric ambien online,
xanax order online no prescription Generic Ambien Price xanax cheap no prescription
xanax sales online, Overnight Delivery Of Xanax Ups what color is generic xanax
buy xanax without perscription Discount Valium cheap alprazolam order now no prescription
ambien fedex Cheap Lorazepam discount generic xanax
buy brand name xanax Ambien Online Pharmacy Sale Cheapest xanax pills super cheap valium 510.
ativan lorazepam buy cheap ativan online Buy Zolpidem Tartrate 10 Mg Tablet Lorazepam on line fedex ativan by fedex 377.
